The Healthcare Dilemma: Tips for the Middling Through Generation

I read a lot of history and it is quite fascinating to see that in the Middle Ages people would die of illnesses and accidents that we can easily fix today. Childhood mortality was extremely high and people in their 50s were considered to be elderly. Over time health care has steadily improved and we are able to prolong life quite substantially with the right treatments. Unfortunately those treatments can come at quite a substantial cost. The question is – can we afford that cost?

Let’s think about where that money could come from. It could ideally come from health insurance. Many of us get this type of health insurance through our jobs but as contract and freelance employment becomes more common many of us will have to provide our own insurance. Also be aware that insurance will only cover part of the costs of procedures. Further, insurance may deny coverage for certain procedures. Your doctor may therefore recommend a course of action and insurance may deny coverage for it. Your choices are to pay for it yourself or do without.

If you don’t have insurance then your health care coverage will have to come from your personal resources. The sad fact is that one illness can wipe out even healthy bank and investment balances. I have heard for example, of one professional who had to sell his own house to pay for his wife’s medical expenses. Ironically he was a healthcare professional himself. Luckily he had a house but what now? Where does he live? I know of other cases where spouses and family members have been left quite destitute as a result of paying for health care. In some cases they are quite elderly themselves – what do they do now?

Without either health insurance or personal resources you are dependent on the state or the goodness of family, friends or well-wishers. These are clearly undependable sources. The state, especially in the Caribbean where I am writing, has limited resources and many demands on those resources. You may find yourself on a long waiting list for treatment or may not be able to get it at all. Friends and family do love you but they are likely to have their own financial challenges. A son or daughter may have to choose between caring for Mom’s cancer treatment or their child’s tertiary education. They may even be battling their own illnesses at the time and be unable to assist. Many family arguments stem from the decisions of one spouse to assist an ailing parent while the other one prefers to use the money otherwise. Arguments may also arise between siblings as one or more feel that others are not pulling their weight. In addition to the trauma of illness there is therefore the trauma of tension, stress, conflict and ill feeling in the family.

Enough of the depressing possibilities. What can we do?
First of all we can increase our health insurance as much as possible. Take out additional policies while you are relatively young to take advantage of lower premiums. If you know of good policies that your parents or older relatives may benefit from, suggest that they invest in them. If they lack resources consider whether it might be cheaper in the long run for you to pay the policies on their behalf to ensure that they have the coverage that they need.

Secondly, save and invest aggressively. Health care is more expensive than you think and you will need a good cushion. Again, try to assist your older family members in their own decision making and savings. Many of them will have their money in low yield savings accounts when there are safe alternatives that would provide them with much better interest rates.

Thirdly, manage your health as best as possible. There is lots of advice out there about what to do to prevent many of the lifestyle diseases. Follow that advice as well as you can and try to monitor the health of your older relatives as well as you can.

Finally, have a plan for your own health care. Deciding whether you want your family to prolong your life at all costs and committing that to writing will make it easier for all concerned. Yes – we can live longer but only if we can afford to.

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Here’s to Doing More

It’s inevitable that those of us in the Middling Through generation are called upon constantly to do more. Many of us are raising children and even grandchildren while taking care of older relatives. We are probably balancing a demanding job and handling other responsibilities at church, our children’s schools and elsewhere. Some of us may even be studying.

It gets so crazy that many of us, myself included, are in a constant struggle to do less. We are told to say No more often and to set boundaries. We try but when we don’t succeed we end up feeling frustrated and angry with ourselves. Why can’t we get it together? We dream of things that we could do if only we could shake all the ‘Must Dos’. We would garden, we would spend more time with friends and family, we would read and on and on. But life gets in the way, so we don’t.

After a terrible few months battling the Chikengunya Virus I went on Christmas Vacation exhausted emotionally and physically and many pounds overweight because of the inability to exercise or the energy do much of anything but drag myself to and from work. One day I was walking through a store and saw a lovely poster that spoke to me but it was too big to pack so I just memorized the words. In the very next store however I saw those same words on a small wall plaque that could fit and I knew that God was sending me a clear message. It said just these few words “Do more of what makes you happy’. Simple but profound. Don’t focus on doing less – just do more – of the things that make you happy.

But the message did not stop there. Shortly after I was reading an article on resolutions for the new year and it suggested that we avoid focusing on the usual – I am going to lose 20 pounds, I am going to stop eating out so often and so on. Instead, it suggested that we focus on doing more. The idea intrigued me especially since I was now walking by my little plaque several times a day and it was reminding me to “Do more of what makes you happy. What could I do more of? It’s a work in progress but here is what I came up with so far:

– Do more steps. The doctors suggest 10,000 a day. I am trying to get those in at least 4 times a week. It required some juggling – 10,000 steps is quite a lot, but now I’m choosing to walk to places that I would normally drive to, adding to my numher of laps and so on.
– Drink more water.
– Eat more vegetables and fruit. Rather than focus on cutting portions which is a good thing I hasten to add, but tedious for me, I am adding more vegetables. Naturally when you have more vegetables, you have less space on your plate and life for more of other things.
– Linking with at least one friend a week. No more excuses or putting it off until ‘next week when I am less tired’. It’s a goal in my ‘Doing more’ strategy so I am pencilling it in and making it happen.

Combining the two concepts has worked quite well. Doing more of what makes me happy means rediscovering the joy of trying out new recipes and we all know that eating at home is healthier. Doing more of what makes me happy is making me find more time for my garden, and of course gardening involves walking – adding to those steps! I would be lying if I said that doing laps around the park makes me happy, but what does make me happy is listening to an audiobook so I combine the two and get in my steps and my reading at the same time. Even I am amazed at my creativity!

So, over to you? What can you do more of? Is it more of family time? More of ‘You’ time, More of ‘Your hobbies’? Don’t focus on the less of because that leads to a feeling of deprivation. If you do more of one thing you automatically have to do less of others because in the end days still only have 24 hours. I have found that when you do more of what you love and enjoy you are more at peace and less stressed and can manage the rest of your life better.

Doing more of what you love inevitably means saying ‘No’ to what you don’t really love since you really don’t have the time anymore. If we’re in the Middling Through generation it probably means that we have more years behind than in front of us. We can’t waste them in ill health, worry, procrastination and unhappiness. There’s no time like the present – grab your list and start planning to do more!

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How to Beat the Odds when you are Single After 50 – Guest Writer AudreyDW

It’s the beginning of a new year and many persons are busy making resolutions, even though in large part we all know it is only a matter of tradition. If we are being honest with ourselves, we know that by the end of the first quarter these resolutions will have to be put back on the list for next year’s “must dos”. An interesting development I noted this year however was that aside from the usual resolutions to lose weight, live a healthier life style, save more and grow even closer to God, some persons including a few of my own friends, resolved to find a partner in 2015! I found this interesting, as most of these persons were already “middling through”, and finding a partner is not usual priority one for them! But then, I noticed that one of my favourite performers, Jill Scott was set to star in a Lifetime TV movie, “With This Ring”, which essentially speaks about 3 girlfriends, who though were they had successful careers were not as successful or lucky in love. They each resolved to finding someone and be married within 12 months. The ladies as portrayed in the movie are from a much younger generation than my friends, so it reminded me that the need to feel loved is human, regardless of age!

But the movie had me thinking again about my friends’ resolutions to find love in 2015. We are all early fifties with arguably successful careers. However, for my circle of friends and myself, our love lives were not as successful. We had already been through our first marriage or in one instance, never married. Some had been divorced, and in my own case, I was widowed when I was only 42. Our focus up to this point had been on developing our careers and seeing our children through to adulthood. Really, the bright spots in our lives, at least where family was concerned and up until this point, were our children. However, with the children almost out of the house, our attention will naturally return to ourselves. So, here we were on New Year’s Eve hanging out together, sipping wine and talking about our aspirations for 2015, with love on our minds!

Unfortunately, statistics show that for many in Jamaica, their marriage will end in divorce. A recent article in one of our local newspapers suggested that the rate may be as high as seventy five percent. At the same time that the number of persons getting divorced is increasing, the number of persons getting married is declining. The same article indicated that between 2008 and 20113 the number of persons who got married reduced from 22,152 to 18,835, a 15% decline over the 5 year period.

The reality is that a significant number of middle aged persons are single, and for many there is only a slim chance that they will marry/remarry. To emphasize the point, a good friend once told me that I had a vacancy that can’t be filled! Probably said in jest, but starkly true given the statistics!! I am also reminded of a story I heard. A recently-widowed obviously eligible parishioner made the “mistake” of marrying a widow in the church. The other single sisters in the church were not happy, as they felt she should have allowed one of those other sisters who had not yet “been down the aisle in a white frock” to get the chance of feeling what it was like to be married. Funny indeed!!

In my work life, it is natural for me to be a problem-solver. So it made me think, what are the options? Do we give up? Certainly not!! If it is truly the desire of your heart to find companionship, and remember, I have concluded it is natural, there are things you can do.

– Start by consciously trying to meet new people who are potential partners. Go where there are likely to be persons who share similar interests!

– If you are shy about asking your friends and acquaintances about making introductions, online dating may be an option. It has become the new way for persons including professionals, to meet. Of course you will have to guard against any risks, perceived or real associated with online dating.

– Another option may be to join one of the growing numbers of singles clubs. These may be found at churches or may be more secular in nature.

– If you are interested in giving back to your community, joining a service club may be another option. You will be killing the proverbial two birds with one stove.

Generally, do the things that bring joy and fulfillment in your life, and let love, it is to happen, come naturally to you. At least you will know for sure you are meeting someone who is interested in the things you too are interested in.

The bottom line is, do not despair if it doesn’t happen. And certainly, do not compromise your values and “settle”. You may end up creating more problems than you solve. Again, fill your life with things that bring you joy. Learn to love your own company. If there’s that that event you badly want to see (mine are movies and plays) and can’t find others to go with you, go anyway! You would be surprised to know how many other persons are there by themselves as well. Finally, remember the bonds formed with family and friends to keep them strong as these relations will become even more important as you age.

In closing, I would be remiss if as someone engaged in managing pensions, I didn’t say anything about planning financially for your retirement years. This too is important, as you may have only yourself to see you through to the end.

Hope you’ll achieve more of your heart’s desire in 2015! Love and marriage included, and as Khalil Gibran said “Think not that you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, will direct your course”!

Chik-V and Me: The Wake up Call on Aging

When I was doing my training as a Certified Senior Advisor, we did a simulated exercise to help us to understand what it was like to be an older person. First, we listened to a recording which was slightly muffled and that helped us to understand how someone hard of hearing might experience the world. Then we put on a pair of disposable glasses that made letters appear very fuzzy – that was what it was like to be visually impaired. Finally we were asked to handle something using gloves and that was how it was like to lose some of our sensory feelings. They were literally eye opening exercises and I have ever since been better able to identify with some of the challenges of older adults.

Recently I had another such experience as I contracted the Chikungunya Virus. The virus is not fatal, but as I discovered it limits your mobility. I could barely walk from my bedroom to the bathroom and the normal bathroom activities had to be approached slowly and cautiously. The stairs were quite an experience as well. I went down slowly and ponderously one foot down and then the other so it took at least twice as long. Then, having made my coffee, I realized that taking it back upstairs with me would not be the usual easy experience because I needed to have my hands free to help me negotiate and balance. So I devised a scheme of putting the cup down on a step above, climbing two steps, moving the cup up a few more steps and then climbing some more and so on. Coffee and I made it up several minutes later. I’ll spare you some of the other stair experiences! A week later when the pain moved to my hands I found that even the simple act of perking my coffee and holding the mug was awkward, painful and slow. While they were painful I am so grateful for these experiences as they showed me in a way that nothing else could have what I may face permanently in maybe another two decades, or perhaps even less.

As we get older our homes may become less friendly and more challenging. I discovered what it was like to have to navigate myself up and down from a toilet seat when my knees didn’t work and what it was like to step up and into the bathtub when I felt shaky. I worried about falling in the bathtub especially after hearing about a young man who apparently hit his head and fractured his skull after passing out from the illness. I realized that two storey living may be possible but it probably is not desirable so I know that I have to think carefully about options. I realized that while I love my leisurely soaks in the bathtub, the bathtub will present a challenge as well so I will need to think of something that requires less effort to enter. Clearly grab bars will be required to provide a sense of security and safety. These things are not necessary immediately but they will eventually become necessary, and now I understand how my body is likely to respond as I get older.

What about you? Have you had a wake up call like this? If you own your own home and want to stay in it as you age what retrofitting will you need to do? Don’t wait too long to do it as renovation costs may become prohibitive as you get older. If you don’t want to stay in your own home then are you planning to buy or rent some place for your retirement? You can delay renting but purchasing may need to take place sooner rather than later. Then there’s the living alone issue – do you feel comfortable living alone when you are not well and have limited mobility? Would you feel better with other people in your space? How can you make that happen? Getting older is just another phase of life and with proper planning we can minimize the stress on mind, body and soul but let’s start planning right now!

The Five Fs of Balance for the Middling Through Generation

Those of us in the middling through generation have care of children and grandchildren at the same time that we may be caring for aging relatives. As we have noted before increased longevity means that we may have as many as six generations in a family alive at any one time! This is a huge blessing – Think what a great grandmother or great grandfather can pass onto a youngster! However there is little doubt that it can be stressful, particularly for women because we are often the primary caregivers. Add to that the fact that working women in their forties and fifties are most likely to be at the peak of their careers and therefore have more responsibility and more challenges. Burnout is highly possible as we try to juggle our various personal and professional roles.

I therefore found it very interesting when I read a recent article in Black Enterprise in which a doctor described her own discovery that she was living an unbalanced life. She mentioned the five fundamentals and her own journey to get them in balance. The five fundamentals (not necessarily in any particular order) are –
– Faith
– Fitness
– Food
– Fun
– Family

With those in mind here are some questions I am asking myself that you might find useful as well

– Faith: Am I losing touch with my faith because of pressures of time and obligations? Am I skipping services or events related to my faith for the same reason?

– Family: Am I spending quality time with family members, especially those for whom I am not a caregiver? Do we spend our time just talking about our obligations and exchanging basic information, or are we making time to enjoy one another’s company?

– Food – Am I skipping meals? Making unhealthy choices because of stress or pressure of time? Am I eating too much or too little?

– Fitness – Is my weight in the desired zone? Am I exercising regularly? Am I feeling good?

– Fun – Am I enjoying life or just going through it? Laughter is said to be the best medicine – Am I laughing enough? Am I skipping fun activities regularly because I am too tired or too busy?

As I look at my own list I realize that I need to be more balanced. However rather than make it too stressful to be balanced I am thinking of combining some things. For example I do work out regularly but it could be more fun! To add some fun I downloaded a couple of books to listen to on the elliptical (Yes, that’s my idea of fun! I love reading but don’t get time to do as much as I would like to). Similarly, I do like cooking but don’t do enough of it because of time pressures. I’m rethinking that aspect of my life because it is fun and would hit the food list because my own meals are always healthier than the prepackaged ones. I’m planning on fewer cans and boxes and more fresh stuff.

There are other choices that I’m going to have to make but as I looked at the fundamental five I had to fight my Type A tendency to do a list of twenty changes to start next week! That would be just too stressful so I picked one or two gradual changes to work on and then move onto the rest. How about you? What would your fundamental five checklist look like? Do your own check and make a few changes. Let’s fight burnout with everything that we’ve got – our life depends on it!

Unaccompanied Parents – Beyond the Wheelchair assistance

I travelled recently and came back exhausted – still recovering in fact. I reflected that as you get older traveling becomes more tiring. Part of it is the physical exhaustion of traveling but a lot of it is the complexity of modern travel. Since 9-11 the rules of airline travel have not only become more stringent but more variable. You travel today and there are one set of rules, you travel two months later and there are different rules. In one airport shoes must come off and laptops out, in another laptops may remain in and shoes can remain on. In one airport you can spend half an hour clearing immigration and in another it might be up to two hours. Flights can leave late and arrive late and connections may therefore be missed. Yes travel is stressful!

In my journeys I saw many seniors traveling and I couldn’t help wondering how difficult it must be for them. Many of us think that if we arrange for a wheelchair for mom and dad we have taken care of them. In reality however that is only a minor part of what they face. Moreover many will refuse a wheelchair because they are still mobile and don’t want to appear helpless. I saw many seniors confused as to exactly what to do and when to do it. The trip must have been quite a nightmare for them. So how can we make airline travel a little easier for them?

– Book travel with plenty of time for connections particularly if traveling through the US. Seniors will take longer to travel from the gate to immigration and to connecting gates. Do not make connection times too tight. If at all possible minimize the number of connections even if this means paying a bit more.

– Provide information in an easy to read form. Have you searched your boarding pass or itinerary for information and had to look a number of times until you found it? I have. Make it easier on your senior by writing or typing out the information clearly so that they can easily find it without having to do the search. You might for example write the flight number and destination, gate number if you have it, seat number, time of departure. Do the same for every connection. Do each connection on a separate piece of paper and attach them together.

– Complete immigration and customs forms if possible. If you can’t, then write out the information clearly preferably in the same order that they will be required to be completed on the form. Don’t forget the address of where they will be staying.

– Minimize the weight, particularly for carry on. Caribbean people overseas are always anxious to have delicacies from home but do not load elderly people with heavy carry ons. Pack what can go in checked luggage and pay for an extra bag if necessary. Perishables have to go in hand luggage but go easy on those too. Better a disappointed relative overseas than a damaged back for your grandma who will have to somehow get the loaded bag into the hold. Bear in mind that the senior may be buying rum in duty free so leave space for that.

– Invest in wheeled luggage. Yes there are still people with luggage without wheels! If possible get the four wheeled ones which go in every direction. They are very easy to handle. If possible get the ones that attach to one another or buy a clip on strap.

– Identify luggage so it is easy to recognize. I have seen many seniors anxiously looking for their luggage and hauling at bags only to find that it is the wrong one. Choose something that is distinct (not a red ribbon for example – too common), and use the same thing on their carry on so that they will remember it.

– Book an aisle seat so that they can make bathroom trips without having to climb over people

– Make sure that they have something to nibble on in case there is no time to eat between connections. Most airlines have stopped serving food except on really long flights so a sandwich or light snacks is a good idea, particularly if your senior is diabetic.

– Provide small bills for tipping on either end of travel

– Call whoever will be meeting your senior with updates of flight arrival and delays. Remind frequently late people to be on time!

– Suggest that your senior does a medical check up before travel. Ensure that they have enough medication for the trip and for their time overseas and ensure that this is packed in carry on and is easily accessible.

– Provide a cell phone with roaming if possible. Store telephone numbers for overseas and local contacts and have them written out as well.

– Update yourself on the likely rules and policies and brief your senior on them so that they won’t be a surprise.

– Suggest clothing that will minimize the amount of time and trouble at airport screening – For example, tell them that they may have to take off their shoes so that wearing stockings or socks is a good idea. If possible they should not wear belts or clunky jewelry that may set off alarms. Remind them that sweaters and jackets may have to come off and so on.

Traveling to be with frieda and family is a joy for seniors but getting there – not so much. Do your part to ease the stress of travel (for you and for them!)

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Are you saving?

It is getting harder and harder to save as prices rise but it has never been more important. If you can’t manage now – how will you manage later without a steady income. I found this article and I wanted to share it with you – another voice to add urgency! If you aren’t saving and your daughters aren’t saving there is a huge generational problem. Please read! http://www.cnbc.com/id/101757440?__source=yahoo%7Cfinance%7Cheadline%7Cheadline%7Cstory&par=yahoo&doc=101757440%7CWhy%20millennial%20women%20don%27

How are we going to take care of your parents? Part 1

I saw this question as one of the questions that married couples should ask one another and it really resonated with me. Many of us are caring for parents and grandparents in their 80s, 90s and even some over 100. If you aren’t doing so yet you may well be. Women are usually primary caregivers so that means that they may end up involved in the care of their in laws as well as parents. So what does taking care mean? Let’s look at some scenarios:

Betty’s 92 year old mom nearly sets her house on fire because she forgot that she had left the stove on. Betty realizes that she cannot live alone any longer and wants to bring her to live with her and her husband Joe. Joe is vehemently opposed because he has a stressful job and doesn’t want anyone else in his personal home space. He wants Betty to consider a nursing home near their house. Years ago Betty had promised her mother that she would never put her in a home.

When Rick’s mother dies he invites his 76 year old father to move in with his family. Emily resents the invitation because her father in law is used to having someone wait on him hand and foot and will not even wash a dish or set the table. He also does not get along with their teenage children who he considers to be coarse and rude.

And
Debbie’s Mother has been in a nursing home ever since she fell and broke her hip at age 89. Her monthly fees had been paid for by her savings and investments but now five years later those are totally depleted. Debbie wants to use some of their joint savings to pay for the nursing home care. Her partner Roger disagrees arguing that the savings are for their children who are rapidly approaching college age.

Of course we could go on and on there are endless possibilities but you get the picture. Elderly parents may need to be taken care of physically or financially and sometimes partners or spouses may disagree with the type of care that is contemplated. Does Betty have to choose between her husband’s need for privacy and her promise to her mother? Does Rick need to choose between his difficult father and his wife? What about Debbie? – Does she choose her mom’s wellbeing over her children’s education? The answer is going to be difficult and different in every situation. The difficulty however is that many of the decisions are being made in a hurry.

For example Betty is now confronting the fact that her husband’s needs may conflict with her promise to her mother. She has known of her promise to her mother for years and she’s known her husband’s personality and preferences for a long time. Waiting until the moment of crisis is going to make things very difficult. Similarly Debbie has probably been monitoring her mother’s declining savings for some time and has not acted until they are totally depleted. At this point there are few options.

Ideally couples should discuss the issue of caring for their older relatives sooner rather than later. This would allow for a full discussion of options. For example Betty promised no nursing home but there are other possibilities such as having a live in caregiver. If she had contemplated her husband’s needs earlier perhaps she would have considered all the various scenarios. Perhaps Rick and Emily should have discussed this issue years earlier as a ‘what if’ scenario.

These decisions are hard and inevitably someone’s life is disrupted or inconvenienced. The goal is to get to a decision that minimizes unhappiness or disruption and getting there takes time and effort. In some cases it may take professional support and mediation. Our loved ones don’t want to be a burden and they don’t want to ruin our lives. There is a workable solution out there so take the time to find it.

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Five New Year’s Resolutions for You and Yours!

The year is almost over and what a year it has been for the Caribbean! As I write this one of the Caribbean’s strongest economies is in big trouble because of a major downshift in its tourist arrivals. It is even considering devaluation – something that it has always tried to avoid. Other countries have also faced declining tourism numbers, declining sales in overseas markets and in some cases natural disasters that have strained the public purse. Governments are doing what governments do to balance their books – raising taxes and cutting jobs.

So what does that mean for us who are in the middling through generation? It means that we can expect that things may get worse before they get better. If you are on a fixed income this can be devastating as your purchasing power declines and you have no way of supplementing it. If you are close to retirement age pay attention because you may be in for a rude awakening. Another Caribbean country recently concluded a pension reform exercise that means that pension is calculated on the last five years of earnings rather than the last pay check. For some people that pulls down the amount on which their pension is calculated and a lower pension is the unfortunate result. Of course some people will lose their jobs and be forced into earlier than desired retirement.

In this last blog for 2013 I want us to look forward and make some resolutions for ourselves and our loved seniors that will help us through this economic storm: First, the seniors:

1. Resolve to openly talk about finances. Many of our seniors are very proud and don’t want to burden us with their problems. Unfortunately that may mean that they make wrong decisions or do without. It is hard but try to find the courage to ask about their finances and sit with them to discuss their options.
2. Resolve to ask other family members to assist. Many of us have become the defacto caregivers of our older relatives while other family members are happy to leave the responsibility to us. Again, try to find the courage to demand that they assist whether with finances or in practical ways. Read other columns for some strategies that you might use
3. Resolve to spend more time with them. Money is important but time is even more important. Simply spending time with family members can improve their state of well being and health in immeasurable ways. Guess what – lower health care bills! Also, when we spend more time with them it becomes easier to raise those sensitive issues.
4. Resolve to act quickly. The longer we wait to intervene with health or financial concerns the worse they get. Moving money around, selling assets, downsizing and so on can help to resolve financial crises and the earlier the better.
5. Resolve to trust your instincts. We often see little signs of decline, neglect, lack or even abuse and talk ourselves out of believing them. Follow through to test what you think you see and know because our instincts are often correct.

Now it’s our turn:

1. Resolve to save more this year. It will be hard with costs rising but it is critical. If you’re not disciplined, take it off the top through salary deductions. If you don’t have it, you can’t spend it.
2. Resolve to buy less. Many of us have enough stuff now so we can go into cruise control when it comes to clothes, furniture, electronics etc.
3. Resolve to take better care of your finances. Move your money to where it earns the most (safely of course!), consolidate where necessary, buy or sell shares and so on. It’s a good time to sit with a financial advisor and get some professional advice.
4. Resolve to simplify. That may mean a smaller house, selling some things, moving closer to work for example
5. Resolve to be healthier. That means eating right, exercising a few hours a week and reducing stress among other factors. The healthier we are the lower our health care bills will be in the years to come and of course we will be happier!

Happy New Year to your and yours!

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All I want for Christmas is….5 Things that our Elders Can Give Us

In our last blog we talked about the difficulty of finding gifts for seniors who might have everything. Let’s flip the script though and look at what seniors can give us in this season of gifting.

1. Their life story – It has been said that those who forget their past are doomed to repeat it. But many of us don’t even have that past. Christmas in the Caribbean generally gives us two holidays and there’s another one on the first day of the New Year. It is a great opportunity to get the life story of your older relatives captured on tape or in writing. Many of us know snippets of the stories but this is an opportunity to get all the details and to fill in blanks that we might have.

2. Their wisdom – It is somewhat amusing to see some of the ‘discoveries’ being made by scientists. Many of these discoveries were very well known by our elders. It is important to capture some of that wisdom – what’s good for a toothache or tummy ache? What herbs do you drink when you have a cold? Many of them work as well or even better than prescribed medications and with many fewer complications. They may therefore be able to help others. You may even be able to make a commercial success out of them. Case in point – Nutmed which is a pain relief and spray made from an old family recipe by a Grenadian who remembered his family recipe and utilized it. Now that family remedy is sold not only in Grenada but around the Caribbean and is popular in the Caribbean Diaspora.

3. Speaking of recipes, this is a third gift that our elders can give us. Many recipes reside only in the heads of those who make them and when they are no longer here all we can do is reminisce about ‘Auntie’s Sweet Potato Pudding’ or the way that Grandma made her pudding and souse. Don’t let the recipe die – take the time to participate, observe and take notes. Future generations will thank you!

4. The Family Tree – Genealogy is now popular and a big money maker. Many of us have that genealogy right at our finger tips however. For example I watched an interview with a 105 year old man who said that his mother and his grandmother had all lived to be over 100. He therefore had 300 years of history in him. We can spend time with elders like him to understand the family tree and learn about the various people on that tree.

5. The Family Health History – Many diseases are hereditary and there may be patterns that can serve as warnings. It’s a good idea to combine this discussion with the discussion of the family tree. As you go through the tree you can ask “So how did Uncle Colin die?” and “So that’s three of the sisters who had breast cancer?” As patterns emerge you may begin to understand some particular health risks and may be able to take precautionary measures.

So this Christmas don’t just focus on the presents underneath the tree. There are many intangible gifts that are even more important. Take the time this holiday season to reach out and get the information and insights that can inform generations to come.

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