Time to Lighten the Load!

I have had the job of clearing out several homes of older relatives as they have either  downsized or passed.  I wish that I had had that experience when I was in my 20s.  If I had I know that I would have bought and collected less stuff!  I am doing so now but I still have a household full of stuff that is meaningful to me but may be a burden for someone else when I am gone.

Are you in the same position?  Don’t take it for granted that your children or younger relatives will want your things.  We’re living longer and that means that by the time we pass our children will more than likely have their own things.  Moreover they are living differently. In my case   while my older relatives did a lot of formal entertaining (My mother’s dinners  of “From Soup to Nuts” were legendary), I do a lot less entertaining and very informally when I do.  As a result while I love her china, silver and crystal and they bring back pleasant memories, I don’t know what to do with them!  Don’t take it for granted that you can sell them either.  The ‘Tiny House’ movement is on and people are a lot more nomadic as well so downsizing is taking place all over and while people may admire your stuff they don’t have room for it in their lives.

So what’s my point?  Start shedding the load now.  Look around your house at what you have and ask yourself some searching questions

• What do I absolutely love?  You should keep it
• What do I use regularly?  You should keep it
• What don’t I care about anymore?  You should dispose of it
• What don’t I need anymore?  You should dispose of it 
• What don’t I use but think that I may use at some time in the future?  You should dispose of it 
• What don’t I really like but feel obligated to keep because of who gave it to me?  You should dispose of it 

This will be difficult but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t do it.  In fact you should do it sooner rather than later.  To get yourself ready here are some thoughts that I have found useful :

• Things are not people.  This is useful when I feel obligated to hold onto something because X or Y gave it to me.  Giving away the gift is not giving them away.  I can love the thought that they put into it and appreciate it without holding onto it.  If necessary take a picture of it but let it go!
• Someone else can get more joy out of it than I am getting out of it.  This is useful when I am holding onto something I don’t care about anymore, don’t use anymore or think that I might use in the future.  While it is gathering dust and depreciating, I am robbing myself of the opportunity to give it to someone who can use it right now.  Think of the joy when they get what they really need/want and let it go!
• The money is gone.  I find this useful when I want to hold onto something that I invested in already.  Whether it sits on a shelf gathering dust or whether I give it to someone who can appreciate and use it now the money is already gone.  Give or sell it to someone else and let it go!
• Getting rid of stuff I don’t need/want/like gives me the space to use and enjoy the things that I DO want/need/like.  When you have fewer things they stand out more so pick what you really love and let it go!

In another column I’ll tackle the tricky issue of what to do with the things but for now start looking around and making some decisions.  Develop a system and stick to it.  You could for example spend half an hour a week sorting  or you could do a cupboard or a shelf at a time.  Be ruthless and if it will help, think about someone having to sort through all of your ‘treasures’ and making decisions about what to do with them.  Think of them having to do so in a hurry without knowing what they mean to you and their true value.    Wouldn’t you rather make those decisions yourself?