In 1944 the average life expectancy in Jamaica was 52.9 years and today it is 75.2 for women and 71.8 for men. A twenty year improvement in 60 years and its getting better every day. Already I have a number of aunts in their 90s and I know many of my friends have relatives who have been blessed with longevity too. With new medical breakthroughs living to 100 may even become common place. What if we live to be 100? As we get older and approach senior status (65 and over), we should ask ourselves this question – do I “age in place” or do I move? Aging in place also known, as aging with choice means that you opt to stay in your home, but you have the ability to cope there.
There’s a pattern to how most us live – starter space which is typically small, and at some stage we either buy or rent a space to accommodate our growing needs and those of our families. Of course we buy things to fill that space and we may even have to move somewhere along the line in order to accommodate all our things. We become attached to our homes and spend a lot of time and money making it just the way that we like it and of course we don’t want to move. But here’s the hard truth – what suits us at 40 or 50 may not suit us at 70, 80 or 90. The garden that was once such a joy can become a chore if we can’t manage it alone; the stairs which we used to run up and down several times a day may become a nuisance or a painful burden when you have an arthritic knee and you’ve forgotten your glasses or cell phone upstairs (can I get a witness!); now the nice spacious rooms are just a chore to manage because they always need dusting or cleaning. Many of us aren’t there yet but we probably know someone who is. We may even be involved in helping that person to move because it’s no longer safe for them to remain at home. If you’re like me, you may find that the person isn’t always willing to make the move and it is traumatic for them and for you as well. Suppose they had aged with choice? Suppose when they were 65 or 70 they had made decisions about their housing that prepared them better for older age? I came across a story about a woman who thought that she could age in place but suddenly found that she could not. Take a look at her story: (http://www.timesunion.com/news/article/Man-tries-to-evict-98-year-old-mom-from-Conn-home-3338829.php).
The story has gotten a lot of press and commentary and most people who have commented are responding along the lines of “Poor Mom – Wicked Son” and that’s probably your first reaction too – I’ll confess that it was mine. However let’s dig a bit deeper – did mom make the best decisions? Could she have done something differently years ago? And one final question – is it really best for her to age in place? We don’t know the details so we can’t answer the questions definitively, but the story does give us food for thought, and is a great teaching tool about what can happen when we aren’t proactive, or, as I like to think of it aggressively proactive. The decisions that we make in our forties, fifties and sixties are crucial to the way that we will live in our seventies, eighties and nineties if we get there, so we need to start planning now. There’s lots to reflect on here so I’ll save the rest for my next blog but in the meantime here’s some homework:
Look around your current home. Now fast forward to age 75, then 85 and if you want, age 95. If you can’t face the thought just yet, then do it for an older relative or a friend. Take a look at:
– The layout – will it work for you when you’re less energetic, perhaps arthritic? In a wheelchair or on a walker? Look again at the stairs, passageways, entrances to rooms?
– The space – Will you need all of this space? Will it be an asset or a liability to you when you’re older? Include your garden
– The neighbourhood – What happens if you can’t or don’t wish to drive anymore? Are you easy to get to? Is it easy for you to get to the services that you need/will need? Include health care and medical facilities that you may need more often than you need now. Will it be safe?
Add your own questions and think about it some more. Next time we’ll start talking about some planning the transition – its not too early! Let me hear your feedback!
middlingthrough 