Unaccompanied Parents – Beyond the Wheelchair assistance

I travelled recently and came back exhausted – still recovering in fact. I reflected that as you get older traveling becomes more tiring. Part of it is the physical exhaustion of traveling but a lot of it is the complexity of modern travel. Since 9-11 the rules of airline travel have not only become more stringent but more variable. You travel today and there are one set of rules, you travel two months later and there are different rules. In one airport shoes must come off and laptops out, in another laptops may remain in and shoes can remain on. In one airport you can spend half an hour clearing immigration and in another it might be up to two hours. Flights can leave late and arrive late and connections may therefore be missed. Yes travel is stressful!

In my journeys I saw many seniors traveling and I couldn’t help wondering how difficult it must be for them. Many of us think that if we arrange for a wheelchair for mom and dad we have taken care of them. In reality however that is only a minor part of what they face. Moreover many will refuse a wheelchair because they are still mobile and don’t want to appear helpless. I saw many seniors confused as to exactly what to do and when to do it. The trip must have been quite a nightmare for them. So how can we make airline travel a little easier for them?

– Book travel with plenty of time for connections particularly if traveling through the US. Seniors will take longer to travel from the gate to immigration and to connecting gates. Do not make connection times too tight. If at all possible minimize the number of connections even if this means paying a bit more.

– Provide information in an easy to read form. Have you searched your boarding pass or itinerary for information and had to look a number of times until you found it? I have. Make it easier on your senior by writing or typing out the information clearly so that they can easily find it without having to do the search. You might for example write the flight number and destination, gate number if you have it, seat number, time of departure. Do the same for every connection. Do each connection on a separate piece of paper and attach them together.

– Complete immigration and customs forms if possible. If you can’t, then write out the information clearly preferably in the same order that they will be required to be completed on the form. Don’t forget the address of where they will be staying.

– Minimize the weight, particularly for carry on. Caribbean people overseas are always anxious to have delicacies from home but do not load elderly people with heavy carry ons. Pack what can go in checked luggage and pay for an extra bag if necessary. Perishables have to go in hand luggage but go easy on those too. Better a disappointed relative overseas than a damaged back for your grandma who will have to somehow get the loaded bag into the hold. Bear in mind that the senior may be buying rum in duty free so leave space for that.

– Invest in wheeled luggage. Yes there are still people with luggage without wheels! If possible get the four wheeled ones which go in every direction. They are very easy to handle. If possible get the ones that attach to one another or buy a clip on strap.

– Identify luggage so it is easy to recognize. I have seen many seniors anxiously looking for their luggage and hauling at bags only to find that it is the wrong one. Choose something that is distinct (not a red ribbon for example – too common), and use the same thing on their carry on so that they will remember it.

– Book an aisle seat so that they can make bathroom trips without having to climb over people

– Make sure that they have something to nibble on in case there is no time to eat between connections. Most airlines have stopped serving food except on really long flights so a sandwich or light snacks is a good idea, particularly if your senior is diabetic.

– Provide small bills for tipping on either end of travel

– Call whoever will be meeting your senior with updates of flight arrival and delays. Remind frequently late people to be on time!

– Suggest that your senior does a medical check up before travel. Ensure that they have enough medication for the trip and for their time overseas and ensure that this is packed in carry on and is easily accessible.

– Provide a cell phone with roaming if possible. Store telephone numbers for overseas and local contacts and have them written out as well.

– Update yourself on the likely rules and policies and brief your senior on them so that they won’t be a surprise.

– Suggest clothing that will minimize the amount of time and trouble at airport screening – For example, tell them that they may have to take off their shoes so that wearing stockings or socks is a good idea. If possible they should not wear belts or clunky jewelry that may set off alarms. Remind them that sweaters and jackets may have to come off and so on.

Traveling to be with frieda and family is a joy for seniors but getting there – not so much. Do your part to ease the stress of travel (for you and for them!)

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Are you saving?

It is getting harder and harder to save as prices rise but it has never been more important. If you can’t manage now – how will you manage later without a steady income. I found this article and I wanted to share it with you – another voice to add urgency! If you aren’t saving and your daughters aren’t saving there is a huge generational problem. Please read! http://www.cnbc.com/id/101757440?__source=yahoo%7Cfinance%7Cheadline%7Cheadline%7Cstory&par=yahoo&doc=101757440%7CWhy%20millennial%20women%20don%27

Financing the Dream

I recently read an article that explained that while most seniors dream of traveling in their retirement most can’t afford to do so. I’m not surprised – I see it everyday. People have worked for decades, and many of them have deferred hobbies and fun activities until retirement when they plan to have enough time to enjoy them. Sadly many of us will have neither time nor money, and sadder still many of us will be forced to work until we can no longer do so. Look around you and you’ll probably see several examples of what I mean.

I am thinking of Mrs. X who had a very senior position in her organization. She retired several years ago and had planned to visit her daughter and granddaughter who lived in another country. Unfortunately Mrs. X spent most of her time freelancing with her old organization to pay her bills. Inflation had eaten into her pension and she was working just as hard as ever. Of course it is nice to be occupied in your senior years but it should on your terms and doing what you love!

There is little doubt that most economies are not going to provide us with the type of financial security that perhaps previous generations enjoyed. It is true in the developed economies with their safety nets and it is doubly true in the Caribbean where there are few safety nets. As I write one of the most stable Caribbean economies has been significantly downgraded by the rating agencies, and they are predicting a gloomy future for that nation. The situation is worse in those economies that have been shaky for some time. The need to invest carefully has never been more important. Now is a good time to do the following:

– Check your pension plan if you have one. What will your monthly payments look like? How do they compare to your current earnings? Remember that you will need between 80-90% of your current income in your post retirement years.

– Check your savings and investments. Are they still working for you? Interest rates change and better investments come along so stay current. I found out the hard way how easy it is to lose money if you don’t. I had an account into which I automatically deposited a certain amount each month and it was working well for me. I purposefully did not even think about it as it was a tool for savings. When I did check a few years later however I found that I was earning virtually no interest on my savings because the initial deal had expired and the institution had not notified me but just paid me at a lower interest rate. Keep current!

– Check out the cost of your dream – If you want to travel, what will it cost to do so? If you want to move to another location what are the costs of living there? What are the costs of moving? If you have a hobby that you want to pursue what will it cost to pursue it?

Unfortunately you may not like what you find out but it is better to find out while you are still working and can make the life changes that can help to finance your dream. From previous blogs you know about cutting back expenses, downsizing and so on. Do what you have to do to make sure that you can have a happy retirement. Wake up now so that you can live your dream later!

You’re only as Old as You Tweet!

You're only as Old as You Tweet!.

You’re only as Old as You Tweet!

I just read a fascinating little article on age discrimination.  The article spoke about subtle ways in which  older applicants might be discriminated against during the job interview process.  Many of them were references to social media.  For example employers might only communicate with you on Twitter because Twitter is seen as the medium for younger people, whereas older people tend to be more comfortable with Facebook and Email.  Who knew – right?  

But it is important to know.  The world is changing quickly and people who don’t change with it may seem dated and out of touch.  As the article suggested something as small as not using the latest social medium may lose you a job.   It may also hold you back on the job.  So are you up to speed with what’s new and current?  Are you comfortable using the latest social media?  If you aren’t, then it’s time to get busy.  

Luckily it’s a relatively painless transition to learn how to use most types of social media, and there’s always help available online for the clueless!  I should know – in the space of a few months I’ve ramped up my own social media profile and added Twitter, Pinterest and Instagram to my portfolio.  In every case I was starting at ground zero but in a few minutes i was up and running.  

What’s that?  You don’t have time.  Indeed finding time can be a problem because many of us are already stretched thin, but we can manage social media  in the same way as we manage everything else in our life.  And there are many tools to help us.  For example, I have two twitter accounts (a business and a personal one), but found a wonderful online tool that allows me to view them at the same time.  That way I can tweet and read from one page.  I can decide whether a tweet should be sent from my business account, my personal account or both. Scheduling can also save time.  It allows you to post to Facebook or tweet when you have time and schedule it for the time that you want it to appear.  You can schedule fifteen minutes every few days and do as many posts and tweets as you can during that time and like magic they will appear whenever you want.  Another concern is security. It is a valid concern but it can be handled in the same way that you manage your physical security. There are ways of protecting yourself. Discover those ways and use them. My final little hint is that Twitter and Facebook are on my smartphone so that I can respond and update while I’m waiting in supermarket or bank lines.  Helps to pass the time as well!  

Of course there are downsides to social media but with age comes wisdom, so use that wisdom to avoid posting pictures, jokes or stories that may later come back to haunt you.  Remember that employers do google potential employees and if you don’t want them to see certain things then you should avoid posting or tweeting them.  Some people worry about getting addicted. That’s very unlikely especially if you are a busy person.  As I said, fifteen minutes a day is plenty for the average person.  

On the other hand do use social media to improve your professional profile and expertise.  Pick an area and tweet about that, or develop a pinterest board or blog about it for example.  In no time you can become the ‘go to’ person in that area. A bonus is that because you are on the worldwide web you are attracting people from all over the world.  There is lots of information on the web about how to boost the number of people who follow you, so take advantage of that information to get yourself known by the right people.  

Finally, watch your mouth!  Yes, we’re talking about social media but manage the way you talk about it, and in fact any new technology.  Don’t for example shudder when someone mentions  Facebook or Twitter and say “Oh, I don’t use those things’.  You will sound dated!  Also, if you’re just catching up let that be your secret!  Recently I heard a colleague loudly proclaiming that he was just going to start using his tablet because a board that he sat on was requiring members to bring their own devices.  He mentioned that he had had it for over a year and was finally taking it out of the box.  That was too much information and it showed him to be way behind the curve.  If people mention a new form of technology or social media that you’re not familiar with, make a note and do your homework later.  If it seems worthwhile then get up to speed!  

So, there you go, get busy.  See you online! 

 

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Five Questions to ask yourself about where to retire

I recently saw a list of the world’s best places to retire in 2014 and it got me thinking more broadly about this issue of aging in place – it’s not just about your house. A wider question is whether you want to retire in your current country , city or location. Moving country or even city is quite a major undertaking at any stage but becomes increasingly challenging as you get older. We’re not just talking about the physical aspects of the move but the emotional aspects as well. So what questions do you want to ask before making that major move?

1. What facilities do I really need now? Cities and countries may have an appealing list of activities, spaces and so on but if you are unlikely to utilize many of them does it make sense to make a major move. If you are an indoors person more comfortable in curling up with a good book, then does it matter that there are great hiking trails and parks in the new location?

2. What facilities am I likely to need in the future? As we age we are likely to need more health facilities for example? I know many people who have a dream of retiring from their jobs in the city to move full time to the country. While country living may seem beautiful how far is it to the nearest doctor, clinic and so on? Will you feel comfortable or safe in a more isolated location as you get older or will you wish to be closer to other neighbors? Will you need to be close to public transportation to reduce reliance on your own vehicle if you do not or cannot drive?

3. How will my significant others be affected by it? Is your spouse as gung ho about the move as you are? What about children, grandchildren, siblings? Do they support the move? Will they visit? Can they visit? If you’re moving to another country for example visas may be required by family members who want to visit – Will they be able to get them? What about plane fare – can they afford to visit? Will they have the time from work or school to make these visits?

4. What will it realistically cost for me to move? There are clearly costs of relocation but move beyond those. If you are switching countries will you sell some of your possessions and then have to purchase on the other end? Will you require additional items that you don’t currently need such as warm weather clothing? If you are selling your house and purchasing a new one what is the market like in each location? In general it’s probably best to underestimate the sale price for your old house and overestimate the costs associated with your move.

5. Why am I really moving? What’s the motivation behind your move and will you achieve it? Before packing up and moving to be near relatives for example find out whether you will be wanted and included in their lives. Perhaps you’re moving because you had vowed to do so years ago. Perhaps you are lonely where you are but what will change with the move? Maybe it’s a good idea but maybe not. Dig deep and make sure that you really want to make the move.

Moving is expensive in terms of money, time and energy. A good move is worth it but if you haven’t thought through it you may live to regret it. Take the time to make the right decision for you, your pocket and your family.

Where did all the money go?

Reading today’s paper I see a headline about a former musician who is practically destitute and unable to care for his medical needs. Very sad but unfortunately not that unusual. We hear these stories all of the time. The money is good at one point and then it disappears.

We’ve talked a lot about saving for retirement but it occurred to me that it could be even more difficult for those who don’t earn steady incomes. They may earn a lot in one month or year and practically nothing in the next. Unfortunately earning a lot can be deceptive because you may think that it will always be there. It happens with best selling authors, artistes and even lottery winners – the money is there and then it goes and in many cases the person is worse off than they were before. Even worse than the loss of money is the loss of self-esteem that goes along with it. Many people fall into depression when they realize how they have squandered a windfall and now have nothing to show for it.

So, what to do if you have a windfall of one type or another. This may be my shortest blog ever because I have one answer – get professional advice and help! A financial planner will help you to make a realistic budget and to put the rest of your money to work for you. Taking that step sooner rather than later gets you in the habit of living conservatively and most importantly restricts your making careless financial mistakes that you can’t recover from. These include giving large gifts to family members and hangers on when you really can’t afford to do so despite appearances. Wealth can be a blessing but you need to nurture it so that it continues to be so! Your financial planner can be particularly helpful in setting up a pension plan so that you have enough for your retirement years.

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How are we going to take care of your parents? Part 1

I saw this question as one of the questions that married couples should ask one another and it really resonated with me. Many of us are caring for parents and grandparents in their 80s, 90s and even some over 100. If you aren’t doing so yet you may well be. Women are usually primary caregivers so that means that they may end up involved in the care of their in laws as well as parents. So what does taking care mean? Let’s look at some scenarios:

Betty’s 92 year old mom nearly sets her house on fire because she forgot that she had left the stove on. Betty realizes that she cannot live alone any longer and wants to bring her to live with her and her husband Joe. Joe is vehemently opposed because he has a stressful job and doesn’t want anyone else in his personal home space. He wants Betty to consider a nursing home near their house. Years ago Betty had promised her mother that she would never put her in a home.

When Rick’s mother dies he invites his 76 year old father to move in with his family. Emily resents the invitation because her father in law is used to having someone wait on him hand and foot and will not even wash a dish or set the table. He also does not get along with their teenage children who he considers to be coarse and rude.

And
Debbie’s Mother has been in a nursing home ever since she fell and broke her hip at age 89. Her monthly fees had been paid for by her savings and investments but now five years later those are totally depleted. Debbie wants to use some of their joint savings to pay for the nursing home care. Her partner Roger disagrees arguing that the savings are for their children who are rapidly approaching college age.

Of course we could go on and on there are endless possibilities but you get the picture. Elderly parents may need to be taken care of physically or financially and sometimes partners or spouses may disagree with the type of care that is contemplated. Does Betty have to choose between her husband’s need for privacy and her promise to her mother? Does Rick need to choose between his difficult father and his wife? What about Debbie? – Does she choose her mom’s wellbeing over her children’s education? The answer is going to be difficult and different in every situation. The difficulty however is that many of the decisions are being made in a hurry.

For example Betty is now confronting the fact that her husband’s needs may conflict with her promise to her mother. She has known of her promise to her mother for years and she’s known her husband’s personality and preferences for a long time. Waiting until the moment of crisis is going to make things very difficult. Similarly Debbie has probably been monitoring her mother’s declining savings for some time and has not acted until they are totally depleted. At this point there are few options.

Ideally couples should discuss the issue of caring for their older relatives sooner rather than later. This would allow for a full discussion of options. For example Betty promised no nursing home but there are other possibilities such as having a live in caregiver. If she had contemplated her husband’s needs earlier perhaps she would have considered all the various scenarios. Perhaps Rick and Emily should have discussed this issue years earlier as a ‘what if’ scenario.

These decisions are hard and inevitably someone’s life is disrupted or inconvenienced. The goal is to get to a decision that minimizes unhappiness or disruption and getting there takes time and effort. In some cases it may take professional support and mediation. Our loved ones don’t want to be a burden and they don’t want to ruin our lives. There is a workable solution out there so take the time to find it.

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Get Principled about Wealth Creation

Quick – without censoring yourself – When you hear the word WEALTH what comes to mind? Some of us may think of being comfortable, some of us may think of enormous riches and perhaps some of us may think of corruption. It’s unlikely that any of us will be neutral. Our feelings about wealth are likely to influence our choices to accumulate wealth or to avoid accumulating it. Your response will ultimately affect the pattern that your life takes.

While we imbue it with feeling, wealth is a neutral concept. One of the definitions by Merriam Webster is ‘abundant supply,’ or as I think of it ‘enough’. We take ‘enough’ for granted when we are working for a regular pay check, receiving regular pay increases and taking advantage of extra jobs or income earning opportunities. When we are in our eighties and nineties however there may be fewer or perhaps no opportunities to increase our income and to have ‘enough’. In fact we have to work towards earning and saving ‘enough’ in our productive years to tide us over our retirement years. And so creating wealth is about creating a healthy future. It need be nothing more.

It’s a new year and time to rethink our attitudes and habits and I want to repeat a very useful set of principles that I found in Black Enterprise Magazine. They are called the 10 Wealth for Life Principles.

1. I will live within my means
2. I will maximize my income potential through education and training
3. I will effectively manage my budget, credit, debt and tax obligations
4. I will save at least 10% of my income
5. I will use homeownership as a foundation for building wealth
6. I will devise an investment plan for my retirement needs and children’s education
7. I will ensure that my entire family adheres to sensible money management principles
8. I will support the creation and growth of minority owned businesses
9. I will guarantee my wealth is passed on to future generations through proper insurance and estate planning
10. I will strengthen my community through philanthropy

Deliberately trying to create wealth is unlikely to turn you into someone who you are not. If you’re worried that it will however you can make plans to protect your own integrity. One of the stories that I remember my father telling me when I was growing up was about a man who prayed to be so wealthy that he could reverse tithe – give 90% to his church and live off of 10%. What an awesome plan that benefitted others! You can also stick to your core values and surround yourself with people who are like minded. The best example of this is billionaire Warren Buffet who drives second hand cars and has lived in the same simple house that he has lived in for decades. So as we go into 2014 shake off the attitudes that are holding you hostage and begin to work towards a future of enough – enough for you, your loved ones and your community.

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Five New Year’s Resolutions for You and Yours!

The year is almost over and what a year it has been for the Caribbean! As I write this one of the Caribbean’s strongest economies is in big trouble because of a major downshift in its tourist arrivals. It is even considering devaluation – something that it has always tried to avoid. Other countries have also faced declining tourism numbers, declining sales in overseas markets and in some cases natural disasters that have strained the public purse. Governments are doing what governments do to balance their books – raising taxes and cutting jobs.

So what does that mean for us who are in the middling through generation? It means that we can expect that things may get worse before they get better. If you are on a fixed income this can be devastating as your purchasing power declines and you have no way of supplementing it. If you are close to retirement age pay attention because you may be in for a rude awakening. Another Caribbean country recently concluded a pension reform exercise that means that pension is calculated on the last five years of earnings rather than the last pay check. For some people that pulls down the amount on which their pension is calculated and a lower pension is the unfortunate result. Of course some people will lose their jobs and be forced into earlier than desired retirement.

In this last blog for 2013 I want us to look forward and make some resolutions for ourselves and our loved seniors that will help us through this economic storm: First, the seniors:

1. Resolve to openly talk about finances. Many of our seniors are very proud and don’t want to burden us with their problems. Unfortunately that may mean that they make wrong decisions or do without. It is hard but try to find the courage to ask about their finances and sit with them to discuss their options.
2. Resolve to ask other family members to assist. Many of us have become the defacto caregivers of our older relatives while other family members are happy to leave the responsibility to us. Again, try to find the courage to demand that they assist whether with finances or in practical ways. Read other columns for some strategies that you might use
3. Resolve to spend more time with them. Money is important but time is even more important. Simply spending time with family members can improve their state of well being and health in immeasurable ways. Guess what – lower health care bills! Also, when we spend more time with them it becomes easier to raise those sensitive issues.
4. Resolve to act quickly. The longer we wait to intervene with health or financial concerns the worse they get. Moving money around, selling assets, downsizing and so on can help to resolve financial crises and the earlier the better.
5. Resolve to trust your instincts. We often see little signs of decline, neglect, lack or even abuse and talk ourselves out of believing them. Follow through to test what you think you see and know because our instincts are often correct.

Now it’s our turn:

1. Resolve to save more this year. It will be hard with costs rising but it is critical. If you’re not disciplined, take it off the top through salary deductions. If you don’t have it, you can’t spend it.
2. Resolve to buy less. Many of us have enough stuff now so we can go into cruise control when it comes to clothes, furniture, electronics etc.
3. Resolve to take better care of your finances. Move your money to where it earns the most (safely of course!), consolidate where necessary, buy or sell shares and so on. It’s a good time to sit with a financial advisor and get some professional advice.
4. Resolve to simplify. That may mean a smaller house, selling some things, moving closer to work for example
5. Resolve to be healthier. That means eating right, exercising a few hours a week and reducing stress among other factors. The healthier we are the lower our health care bills will be in the years to come and of course we will be happier!

Happy New Year to your and yours!

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