In our consumer driven age hoarding is major problem – so much so that there are television reality shows developed to showcase the habit. It can happen at any age but our interest in this case is with the elderly hoarder. According to the Mayo Clinic hoarding is the excessive collection of items along with the inability to discard them. We’re not just talking about having too much stuff. We’re talking about when it begins to impair everyday living. Some people may be reduced to living in a cramped space because their hoard takes up so much space. Hoarding can also be dangerous if it impairs mobility or creates a fire or health hazard.
In some cases hoarding may be a sign of some mental impairment and it may be a sign that the person needs medical attention. This is particularly the case if there is a behaviour change. Getting the medical treatment may alleviate the problem. In other cases hoarding may not be medically related but may be part of a regular behavioural pattern. Naturally as the person ages and the behaviour continues there will be even more stuff for them to hoard hence the cause for concern. Hoarding may also emerge as a result of a stressful event such as the loss of a loved one.
The Mayo clinic gives a long list of symptoms which I urge you to look at if you think that you may be dealing with a senior who is a hoarder. These include cluttered living spaces, inability to discard items, acquiring unnecessary or unneeded items and excessive attachment to possessions. For more read http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/hoarding/DS00966/DSECTION=symptoms.
If you are dealing with a hoarder how can you help? First realize that this may be a condition that requires medical intervention so check with your medical practitioner for help. The Mayo clinic has some very helpful advice about preparing yourself for this appointment. They suggest that you should write down the symptoms being experienced or displayed, write down key personal information including traumatic events, make a list of medical conditions. If medical treatment is appropriate then the treatment may include psychotherapy or medication. Many of us shy away from this step and we do make our life harder. Medical practitioners are trained to deal with these difficult situations and most of us are not so it makes sense to work with them.
If you decide that you want to try your own intervention first then prepare yourself for what may be a challenging situation. Some general principles are:
– Show empathy – This means trying to listen from the other person’s perspective. You do not have to agree with what they say. If its your grandmother for example, try to understand that holding onto the magazines that grandpa used to read makes her feel connected to him even though he is no longer around.
– Don’t argue – You can’t win!
– Help the person to realize that their actions are not consistent with their greater goals – Perhaps you could steer Grandma to a way in which she could keep Grandpa’s memory alive. She could for example donate to a charity in his name, name a pew at the church after him and make sure to sit there and so on. She could even sell some of the items and use them to donate to a charity that Grandpa supported. You’re not arguing but making a suggestion that may help her to make better choices.
Source – http://www.harthosp.org/InstituteOfLiving/AnxietyDisordersCenter/CompulsiveHoarding/default.aspx#LovedOnes . You will find other helpful resources there as well.
Remember hoarding may be a symptom of a medical condition and that the person is not just doing it because they are nasty or being difficult. Their behaviour may make perfect sense from their perspective. You may find that you have to intervene if the hoarding is creating an unsafe environment. In this case be very careful however in discarding anything that belongs to the person because what may seem like trash to you may be loaded with significance to them. Be prepared to take it slowly and to make concessions. Be prepared for emotional responses and even accusations but remember that it may be part of a medical condition and try not to take it personally. Now is also the time to draw on your wider network and look for friends and family who can assist you in encouraging the senior to part with at least some of the items. Thinking of this as a medical condition may make it easier for you to show empathy and to cope with the situation.
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